PENELOPE STITCH STOP

well I am back.

2010-12-17T13:48:00.000-08:00

Of course, I have not posted in a while. Life is still complicated. I have started a new job that I work from home. This is great since my health has good and bad days. The doctor hs ruled out autoimmune hepatitis, so they are thinking Lupus. I wake up every day hoping this is the day I don't hurt. I have decided for the new year, I will exercise more and lose weight. I may even try the "Couch to 5k". I don't know if my joints will let me but I am going to try. My daughter Miranda has moved back home. We have her working through issues with counseling, but she just told me and my husband that she is pregnant. So we will continue to support her and love her. Kimi just got her freshman 1st semester grades with a grade point average of 3.81. She is attending LSU in Shreveport for teaching. Kirk is doing great in boyscouts, swimming, karate, and in school. We stay very busy, so I will keep this short.

It's been a while.

2010-06-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I blogged. A lot has change in my life. My family and I finally sold my childhood home. The same week we sold it, they tore down my old high school, and the little church I grew up in. It feels like someone has erased my childhood off the chalk board of life. This weekend I found out my brother wants to sell his share of farm land that was left to us. It's in the middle of mine and my sister's land. It's almost like he wants to get rid of everything that belonged to our parents.
I am waiting for the dark clouds to leave from over head of my life. I continue to stay sick with the RA and now they think I have autoimmune hepatitis. I have missed the last 3 wks of work due to terrible fatigue and pain in my right side. The dizziness is the worse. I am having a liver US on the 15th of June, then they are going to schedule me for a liver biopsy. So my health life sucks.
This past month I ask my 22 yr old dgt, Miranda to move out. She was taking advantage of the whole family. She moved her friend in that had a small child, and she never wanted to help around the house. So, due to my health and all the stress, I got fed up. I finally stood up to her. She is a LPN and works, but she does not want to grow up. I have not heard from her since she left. I know she hates me now, but I hope she understand at some point that I do love her but she needs to be on her own.
Kimi graduated high school last month. She is working as an extra in movies that are being taped in Shreveport. So look for her on "The Gates" on ABC in 2 wks.
Kirk is enjoying the summer so far. Before I got sick, we took him to Six flags for is 12th birthday. He loved it.
Well I am going to stop now and try to sleep. I will try to write soon.

Another Long Night.

2009-06-03T23:44:00.001-07:00

Still having health issues. No energy, fatigued. Had lab drawn 3 times this week. My sed rate is very high (The higher the number the higher the inflammation in your body). My is very high this week(7 times higher that the average person). My arthritits doctor does not want to treat me with oral medications right now, because they think I am having parathyroid issues. Waiting for lab to come back with the verdict. I am wired for sound and cannot sleep tonight, because the Doctor did give me a celestone shot to give me short term relieve from the arthirits. Now I am now just tired, in pain and bouncing off the walls. If that makes any sense?

Thinking a lot of Mom today. That woman was strong as a ox. Here I am complaining, and she must had 10 times the pain and never complained. I wrote a little something that I contribute to her. It almost sounds like a "tear jerking country music song". Oh well here it goes, No bad comments please, I need some good karma sent my way.

Take My Hand, Child

When I was a little girl, pigtails with ribbons and bows; She would say "take my hand, child and lets takes a walk". I need to chase butterflies and smell purple flowers. Too busy to take her hand and walk.

When I was a teenager, with stars in my eyes and speed in my tires; She would say "take my hand, child and lets take a walk". I need to chase country boys and wear prom dresses. Too busy to take her hand and walk.

When I was a young woman, with a man to love and dollars to make; She would say "take my hand, child and lets take a walk". I need to chase small children and climb the corporate ladder. Too busy to take her hand and walk.

When I was a middle-age woman, with tears in my eyes and hopes and dreams to tell; I would say "take my hand, Mom and lets talk. I need to hear those words and thoughts of yester-years.

She responded by saying "Child, time to say goodbye, to hold his hand, and walk".

I LOVE AND MISS U MOM. WISH U WERE HERE TO HOLD MY HAND AND WALK.

no understanding

2009-05-21T18:47:00.001-07:00

I went to an another Doctor appointment today. I hear all the diagnosis in disbelief and do not understand why at 44 years old why I have all these problems. Within the last few years and months, I was diagnosed with vitiligo, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis of spine and hips, fibromyalgia, L4 and L 5 rupture discs, osteopenia of right hip, and osteoporosis. I live in constant pain. I do not understand, my husband does not understand and my kids do not understand. My husband thinks I need a lot of exercising and I will be alright. I try to exercise and then the next day, I am in bed all day. I am being referred to a physical therapy, so hopefully I can start exercising. I know I need to lose some weight, but I need to exercise more. The doctor's scare me with the High risk of fractures and nerve damage talk. I ask the doctor was all these problems luck of the genetic draw or was it related to the years of steroids I was given as a child due the lung issues I had. I was born premature so that is another issue. The doctor stated it was probably due to all the above. Since My mom died of an autoimmune disorder the genetic thing is a big issue.

I am sick and tired of being in pain. I live on pills and more pills. I am sick and tired of people not understanding. I cannot not plan in advance on things due to I may feel bad that day. My kids do not understand why I have good and bad days. I am also being referred to a Pain doctor to help manage my pain. Here I am a 44 year old with bones of a 78 yo. I just do not understand.

no understanding

2009-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

SOCK FAILURE

2009-04-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

I have been trying for weeks knit a sock on 3 dpns without luck. I go raverly and lust over others accomplishment but resent myself for not been able to knit a sock myself. I am not giving up and hopefully I can get it soon.

Well I am down in my back again. I tired of having pain all the time. I remember how strong Mom was with her illness. and I think I can do it to. RA is kicking my ass though. I am going to the doctor in morning.

My kids are graying my hair faster and faster. M is not coming home at night and she does not call. I know she is 21 years old but I have ask her to call me when she is not coming home. She is the most stubborn child I have got. K ran up a very high cell phone bill. She felt so guilty that she went out and got herself a job. D and L is still in Slidell LA and living with her parents. D got himself a job at Target and L got herself a job at Hobby Lobby. Lucky girl. Both of them will start RN school in Aug. I hope it works out for them. Have not seen the Gbaby lately. B is still in school for toxicology. Watch out CSI when she graduate. Baby K will be turning 11 in May. I can not believe he will be in Middle school next year. I went to sign him up for Middle school last week. He wants to play the drums in band. I guess S and I will be wearing ear plugs next year.

Well I still need to help my sister with cleaning MOM's house in AR, but its so hard to pack away memories and giving away others. I wish I could call heaven daily just to hear her voice. Oh darn hear comes the tears again. I just miss her SO SO SO much.

Well I am going to cut this short and dry my tears. Follow me on PLurk and Twitter as Nursetoes. My email is nursetoes@gmail.com.

Bye bye for now

Penny

Memories

2009-04-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to Arkansas to help my sister to go through Mom's things. Very tough!!!

It made it more real that she is gone. My brother had already took some pics off the wall. I may be crazy but it breaks my heart to see things come off the walls. Mom and Dad had pics of us kids and grandkids all over the walls. It was comforting to walk in the house and see the family pics and this one picture of Jesus that hangs over the fireplace. This picture was a gift my dad gave my mom from a dollar store when My older Brother Danny died. He was 18 months old when he was accidently ran over by my Mom. Mom was very strong in her faith and that picture was a reminder to me that Jesus is where her strength came from. That picture is a cherish heirloom that my Dad may have paid 10 dollars for in the 50's. My parents lived through many terrible things in their lifetime but they never let us kids dwell on the past.

I feel so alone without my Mom.

Just rambling

2009-04-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a long time since my last blog. This has been a real tough year. We lost Mom March 2. My brother, sister and I was at her side till the last minutes. As a nurse, I have seen a lot of people pass, but when it is your own parents it is a different story. I was there when Dad passed Nov. 30, 2007. I feel like I have lost my best friend as well as my Mom. She and I went to LPN school together and when I decided to return to RN school, Mom took care of my kids. Mom was the one share my love for arts and crafts, garage sales, and reading. We would talk 2 -5 times a day on the phone. Whenever I was down and out, Mom would be there. My heart aches daily for her.

Winona Lanelle Baker your legacy lives on and is greatly missed by all.

1/13/1936 to 3/2/09

Wayne Butler Baker your love and kindness is greatly missed by all.

4/6/1934 to 11/30/07

Mom died from an autoimmune hepatitis/cirrhosis. I have found out that Autoimmune disorders are hard to diagnosed. I found out this past month that I have Rheumatoid arthritis, which is an autoimmune disorder also. They have put me on Steroids. My kids and hubby are ready for me to get off of them. Talk about Roid rage. Usually I am a very laid back personality, but with that little pill, I am a total bitch at times. I was yelling at a car that cut me off yesterday, and Kirk said "Mom why does that pill make you so mad. I am trying to hold my tongue, but sometimes it just comes out. I suggest to anyone who has vague symptoms to insist that they be tested for any autoimmune diseases.

I have been working and knitting to keep my mind busy. I have been trying to learn to knit socks. It was a slow start, but I am getting the hang of it.

I have been trying to keep up with Ravelry, but it is tough to get on the computer with work and all.

Hello My Name is Penny and I am addicted to UK knitting magazines. I hit Barnes and Noble and Books A Million at least every 2 weeks to see if the new ones are in. I love them. I read them over and over. Don't get me wrong I buy my share of the US magazines too.

I turned 44 on March 7. I didn't feel in the celebrating mood. My son David and his wife came in for Mom's memorial. So I got to see them. They are living with Lisa's Parents in Slidell, LA. Both of them has signed up for nursing school. Lisa is still hooked on knitting.

Grand-baby Conor and of course his parents came over last weekend. Conor is getting so big and smiles all the time. He has his PawPaw's chin and smile I think.

Miranda is still in the LPN program that I teach. She has moved back home. Randa is still giving me gray hairs, but I am trying to let her make her own mistakes. Kimi is a North Caddo cheerleader now. She was a dancer for the dance line, but has decided cheer next year. I cannot believe that she will be a Senior next year.

Kirk is still involve in Boy Scouts. He and his daddy has been camping a lot.

Oh I almost forgot, my loving husband got me a 2009 Mustang. I am now a "mustang momma". Its is royal blue and I love it. I have not gotten any speeding tickets yet, but I do have a lead foot.

I have been Twitting on Twitter and Plurking on Plurk . I have been brainwashed to join by all my Knitting heros. I am also on Facebook now to be able to talk with family and friends. My nickname on all is Nursetoes.

Well I try to be better at blogging from now on.

Keep saying Tomorrow will be a better day.

Its been awhile

2008-07-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

Things have been crazy at the McVay-Powell Plantation. My first grandchild was born June 23, 2008 and Conor Dylan is a beautiful baby. (I may be a little bias though) My step-dgt didn't have any problems and her and the baby are doing great.
My poor mom has been in and out of the hospital. We are battling liver and kidney failure due to auto-immune disorder. We have been going to a lot of doctor's appts. She is a fighter so we are fighting with her. I have been on family medical leave since the end of June with Mom, but I have been so busy that I have not been able to knit.
My Son, Dave and wife, Lisa just got out of the Navy and move in with us on the the 3rd of July. So they have been beating the bushes, looking for jobs and to get back in school. Dave got a job at a Dialysis center which I think is irony since I think that is the route Mom is heading. Lisa is still looking, but I have help encourage her learning knitting. YEAH!!!!!!!
Miranda, my 20 yr old is still at home and looking for a job also. She got her certification for a nursing assistance and is just waiting for a job. She continues attend LSU LPN program that I teach. Right now she is on semester break.
Now, Kimi is counting the days that I will be able to take her for her final driving test to get her official license. I am busy but I am hesitate due to that she has not been able to practice much and she thinks once she gets that license in her hands that she can drive anywhere.
Well my little angel, Kirk has been very patient this summer with all the transitions. He has asked a couple of times will we be able to go on a vacation. I know it has been tough on him. Kirk and Kimi are at Church camp now and I pick them up tomorrow. That leaves my better half, Steve, In all this commotion he has been attempting to remodel our house room by room. He has finished a walk-in closet for us and the girls, he is waiting for me to do the trim painting (who is he kidding). He has started on Kirk's room, painting the walls, and will start putting down hardwood flooring down this weekend. Oh yea, I am suppose to do the trim work in my spare time. ( what spare time?).
I just want to just hide away and knit. Til next time. See Ya.
Penny

penelope is busy busy busy!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-12T04:17:00.000-07:00

I have lost my mind.I have always wanted to teach. So I had a job fall in my lap. My 20 yr. old is is one of 30 students in this LPN class. And they have one teacher. My daughter said that that they needed help with that many students. I inform my daughter that I would fill in. Well they had me sign a contract to teach 29 hrs a week. I work at 7am to 3:30 pm then I teach from 4pm to 10:30 pm. I feel guilty leaving my 9 yr old with my 16 yr old till Daddy gets off at 5pm. What is the worse thing , K had a shits Tu puppy that was his partner in crime. Well last night he got out and was found dead by the pecan tree. No reason we could find , and I had to break the news to the K. All he said was paw paw needed a dog to keep him company in heaven. My dad just passed in Nov. My mother is hanging in there with her liver failure and kidney failure. We do not know how much time we have with her, but she is going to fight it. This disease has not slow her down even thought one doctor only gave her 2 months to live. She will argue with the Lord at he the golden gates that it is not her time. Well my stepdaughter and her husband are expected my first grandchild. They have already picked out the name when they did the ultra sound. Connor Dylan Will arrive approx. July 4th. Dylan is after the great Bob Dylan. My son in law is a huge fan of his. so my husband has been calling the baby Bob. My stepdaughter is scared that it will stick So we a looking forward"BOB".
We all that is going on in my life, knitting has been on the back burner. I still dream of spinning wheels , roving, and the feel of real yarn. Remember i live in ACRYLIC HELL. To escape you would have to go to another state for the real thing. So my life insist on acrylic for now. I live in the middle of a cotton field, if only I had a wheel.
This has been the whose of a nurse in Louisiana. thanks

New to the land of blogging

2008-01-03T14:42:00.000-08:00

I am trying my hand at blogging. I have never put my life to words before, so here I go. I just recently lost my Dad to cardiac disease, and I am a discharge planner on a oncology floor, so my world can be stressful and emotional. I hope this blog will let me express myself. Well, I will say good-bye for now and hopefully will write soon about knitting and life.